Saturday, May 25, 2024

Infidelity: The Problem With Husband, Wife Working Far Apart as OFWs

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In some cases, it is not enough for one member of the family to be the breadwinner. There are couples who both work abroad. It is ideal if they work close to each other, meaning they are employed within the same country. For example, the husband is a family driver, and the wife is a domestic helper. In such cases, either spouse doesn’t have to worry much if the partner has been treated well at work.

But others work far apart. The husband is a laborer on a construction project in the Middle East or seafarer mostly confined in a large oil tanker, while the wife is a caregiver in Taiwan or domestic helper in Hong Kong.

In such cases, special arrangements must be made so they can spend their vacations together. To bridge the gap, phone calls and social media engagements keep couples together.

But what if one party is deliberately making the already far distance further apart? For instance, the husband’s company can accommodate such arrangements as its pledge to be a family-centric organization. Yet, the husband tries to stray from the plan so a vacation together becomes out of the question.

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“Baby ko, conflict ang petsa natin kasi nauna yung kasama ko mag-file ng leave..”

The unsuspecting wife can do nothing but proceed with her travel plans as her employer already booked her ticket. Little did she know that the husband was just toying around, flirting with other women, even though he is brave enough to admit he has a wife, only that he labels the relationship as rocky. He, therefore, needs someone to comfort him in such conceivable “depression” he must have felt.

Here’s a story of Emmy, based in Hong Kong as a domestic helper and Tony, her husband based in the Middle East. They communicate through phone and chat on Facebook regularly.

Then one day, Emmy was surprised to hear her husband asking for an invitation letter so he could come to Hong Kong and — like everyone would have guessed — wish to visit her. Emmy prepared the letter and even asked the permission of her employer of an impending visit by her husband.

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Without asking her husband’s exact date of arrival, Emmy was made to believe he was out to spring a surprise for her. But instead of a pleasant surprise, Emmy was dumbfounded to realize her Tony was already in Hong Kong as indicated on his Facebook post. Worse, he appeared on posted photos with another woman who bragged about their views and acted as if she was the real wife of the man.

If that’s not enough, the woman often abuses Emmy through the Facebook account of Tony, implying that all messages between the husband and wife are no longer privy between the two of them. The abuse also extends to their two children, who also receive negative impressions about their father.

Emmy tried to cut off the relationship, but Tony insisted they remain as husband and wife, for the sake of their children. After all, Emmy admits, Tony continues to support the studies of their two children, even if the latter despise their father for his playboy image.

If there is any consolation she gets, Emmy says it’s the fact that her husband despite his flings and licentiousness, he did not abandon his family and continues to be a provider.

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