When balikbayans come home to visit, there’s an unspoken expectation that everything will feel like a warm reunion. While the hugs, food, and family reunions are all heartfelt, many balikbayans quietly go through a bit of culture shock, fatigue, or even stress during their stay.
These little things may seem minor to locals, but to someone who’s spent years abroad, they can pile up. This article offers a peek into the balikbayan experience, not to criticise, but to create better understanding between Filipinos at home and those returning for a visit.
Adjusting to the Philippine heat and humidity again
No matter how many times balikbayans return to the Philippines, the weather always seems to catch them off guard. The heat feels more intense than they remember, especially after getting used to cooler climates or life in air-conditioned comfort abroad. Even a short walk to the sari-sari store can leave them drenched in sweat and craving shade.
Then there’s the rain. Out of nowhere, skies can open up with heavy downpours or surprise typhoons, ruining plans or soaking clothes hung out to dry. It’s not just a matter of discomfort either—the combination of heat and sudden rain can mess with sleep, sour moods, and throw off carefully planned itineraries.
One balikbayan joked that they came home for a vacation but ended up stuck indoors more than they expected.
The traffic feels worse every year
Ask any balikbayan what stresses them out the most, and chances are traffic will be at the top of the list. A short drive that should take 20 minutes can easily stretch into two hours—especially in hotspots like Metro Manila or Cebu. It’s not just the volume of cars; it’s the unpredictability that gets to people who are used to more efficient transport systems abroad.
Walking or biking isn’t much of an alternative either. For balikbayans used to safe, walkable cities, the lack of sidewalks and pedestrian crossings is both frustrating and risky. Many end up relying on cars or booking Grab rides everywhere, which adds to the gridlock.
According to the 2023 TomTom Traffic Index, Manila is one of the most congested cities in the world, with drivers wasting up to 240 hours a year just sitting in traffic. It’s enough to make anyone lose their cool even before they reach their destination.
Feeling pressured to give or spend money
Most balikbayans come home with big hearts and every intention to help, but the expectations can feel a bit much. From the moment they land, there’s an unspoken rule that they’ll pay for everything. You’ll often hear, “Libre ka naman, balikbayan eh,” whether it’s for a meal, an outing, or pasalubong for extended family and even neighbours.
Then come the subtle guilt trips. Comments like “Mayaman ka na kasi” or “Nandiyan ka sa abroad” which, while maybe said jokingly, can pile on emotional pressure. On top of that, balikbayans may be asked to help fix the house, chip in for school fees, or support a barangay project.
It can feel never-ending. For many OFWs, this is the only time they get a break from working and sending money all year, so it’s tough when their much-needed rest turns into a series of financial obligations.
Constantly being asked about their life abroad
Another sneaky source of stress for balikbayans? The constant questions about life abroad. While most people are just curious or trying to make conversation, it can get exhausting hearing the same things over and over: “Magkano sahod mo?” “May boyfriend/girlfriend ka na?” “Kailan ka magpapakasal?”
These questions, though usually well-meaning, can feel intrusive—especially when the balikbayan is dealing with personal struggles they may not want to share. It’s tough having to smile through it all when deep down they might be homesick, heartbroken, or just plain tired. Sometimes, they just want to enjoy the moment without having to explain their whole life story.
The pace of life can feel chaotic
Life in the Philippines has a certain spontaneity that locals are used to, but for balikbayans who’ve grown accustomed to structure and boundaries, it can be a lot to handle. “Filipino time” is still a thing — parties start late, appointments get pushed, and public services rarely run on schedule. What might seem relaxed to some can feel chaotic to someone used to punctuality.
There’s also the lack of personal space. Unannounced visits, loud karaoke nights, and constant background noise can be overwhelming, especially for balikbayans who’ve learned to value quiet or solitude abroad.
Even basic rules like queueing properly or following traffic signs can feel optional, adding to the culture shock. Over time, they may have embraced a more routine-based lifestyle, but back home, that can be misread as being “too Westernised” or “changed.”
Dealing with bureaucratic inefficiencies
A lot of balikbayans try to squeeze in errands during their short stay—renewing documents, settling property issues, or handling bank matters. But what should be simple tasks often turn into full-day marathons thanks to government red tape. Lining up at the NBI, LTO, or BIR can eat up hours, sometimes even days, just for a single transaction.
Unlike abroad where most things are done online, many Philippine services still require in-person visits, with little clarity on what’s needed or how long it’ll take. Add poor customer service or staff who seem uninterested in helping, and it quickly becomes a test of patience.
It’s no wonder the Philippines still ranks in the bottom half of the World Bank’s Ease of Doing Business index—something balikbayans feel firsthand when they just want to get things done and still enjoy their vacation.
They don’t always feel “at home” anymore
This is the emotional side that few balikbayans talk about.
One of the toughest parts of coming home as a balikbayan is feeling like a bit of a stranger in your own country. Maybe it’s the accent, the different way of thinking, or small habits picked up from living abroad—but suddenly, you don’t quite blend in the way you used to. Even relationships with close friends or family can feel different.
Time and distance change people, and sometimes, conversations feel more like catching up with a distant relative than reconnecting with someone familiar.
There’s also the pressure to live up to expectations—some see balikbayans as the problem-solver, the one with money, or the “guest” who should always be cheerful and giving. But balikbayans are human too.
Many feel torn between wanting to be present and generous, and needing space to recharge or just be themselves. It’s a quiet tug-of-war that can leave them emotionally drained by the end of their trip.
What locals can do to make balikbayan visits more meaningful
Understanding the balikbayan experience helps bridge the emotional and cultural gap. Here’s what family and friends in the Philippines can do:
If you’ve got a balikbayan visiting, one of the best things you can do is give them space—to rest, adjust, and just be without taking it personally. They might have crossed time zones, dealt with long flights, and brought pasalubong, so piling on more expectations only adds to their stress. Let them sleep in, have some quiet time, or skip a party without guilt-tripping them.
Also, ease up on the financial pressure. Chances are, they’ve already spent a lot just to be here—and honestly, what they need most is quality time, not more expenses. Be thoughtful with plans; ask ahead, respect their schedule, and understand that they can’t attend every family reunion or catch-up.
Most importantly, check in with them in a kind, non-intrusive way. Skip the tsismis-style grilling and just have a real conversation. And don’t forget: just showing up took effort. Let them know their presence is more than enough.
Conclusion
Visiting the Philippines should feel like coming home and not a stressful obligation. Many balikbayans save for years just to visit for a few weeks. A little empathy from those in the Philippines can make a big difference.
Whether you’re a relative, neighbor, or old friend, showing understanding through patience, kindness, and respect goes a long way. After all, balikbayans carry the Philippines with them in their hearts wherever they go. When they return, they simply want to feel like they still belong.