For millions of Overseas Filipino Workers, sending money back home is a lifeline for their families. But what happens when family members start relying too heavily on these remittances, treating it as an endless flow of cash?
This growing pressure can affect an OFW’s mental health, financial stability, and future goals.
This article explores nine effective ways to resist remittance pressure, with relatable examples and simple strategies for healthier family conversations around money. Whether you’re a Filipino working abroad or simply want to understand the realities OFWs face, these insights can help you see the human side of the “padala” culture.
1. Understand the pressure and why it happens
Remittance pressure often comes from cultural expectations: as an OFW, you’re seen as the breadwinner or “hero” of the family. Loved ones may assume you earn more than you actually do, or that your life abroad is full of luxury.
For instance, Maria, an OFW in Dubai, shared how her family in Davao kept asking for more money for their “wants” rather than “needs.” “They thought I had a magic wallet,” she said, even though her salary barely covered rent and groceries.
Understanding this dynamic can help you find ways to say no, set limits, and communicate openly about what you can truly provide.
2. Have honest conversations with your family
Talking about money isn’t easy, especially when cultural expectations are so strong. But being open about your income, expenses, and plans can stop misunderstandings and guilt trips.
Try to schedule a video call or send a message explaining your situation in a calm, respectful tone. This is much more efficient than exchanges in emotionless text messages that can sometimes be misinterpreted and read out of context.
For example, you could say:
“I’m working hard here, but I also have to save for my own future. I can’t send extra money right now.”
Sharing your budget or explaining your monthly expenses can help your family see the bigger picture.
3. Set clear limits on how much you can send
Boundaries are essential. Decide how much you can comfortably send home each month, and make it a non-negotiable part of your budget.
For instance, if you earn A$3,000 in Australia and can realistically send A$500 per month, explain this to your family. Sticking to this amount – even when they ask for more – helps you avoid feeling trapped by constant demands.
You can also explain that while you earn dollars, you also spend dollars — rent, transportation, food, and so on. This reinforces your need to save up for yourself, and thus they should also be disciplined in their spending habits.
4. Focus on needs, not wants
One way to manage expectations is to differentiate between family needs (like tuition fees, medical bills) and wants (like new gadgets or celebrations).
OFW Ronald in Saudi Arabia shared how he started asking his siblings, “Is this really necessary?” before agreeing to any request. By supporting only the essential needs, he ensures that his hard-earned money is used wisely.
Setting the tone early helps manage expectations and avoid family members the habit of getting used to receive money for whatever purpose. You can also keep a note of your remittances and their intended purpose besides the basic necessities. By doing so, you have more visibility and understand whether the demand is a need (necessary) or a want (can be declined if not necessary).
5. Encourage self-reliance and financial independence
Empowering your family to find ways to earn money themselves is a long-term strategy. Instead of just sending cash, consider helping them with small business ideas or job training.
OFW Josie in Canada gave her cousin money to start an online sari-sari store. Over time, her cousin stopped asking for remittances because she could support herself.
This shift can take time, but it reduces the burden on OFWs and gives families back home a sense of pride and purpose.
6. Beware of guilt-tripping tactics
Families sometimes use emotional appeals like “You don’t love us anymore” or “You’re so selfish now that you’re abroad.” These can be painful to hear, but it’s important to recognise them as guilt-tripping – not fair expectations.
Remind yourself: sending money is a choice, not an obligation. You’re helping your family because you care, not because you’re forced to.
7. Create a personal savings plan
OFWs often prioritise their family’s needs and forget to save for themselves. But remember, you’re also working hard for your own future – retirement, emergencies, or your children’s education.
Set up a personal savings account that your family doesn’t know about. This way, you have a financial cushion for yourself, and you’re not tempted to spend everything on family requests.
For instance, Marlon, an OFW in Singapore, saves 10% of his income in a separate account before sending any money home. It’s his “non-negotiable” priority.
8. Seek support from other OFWs or communities
You’re not alone in facing remittance pressure. Many OFWs have gone through the same struggles. Joining a support group or online community can help you find advice and emotional strength.
OFWs in Europe often share stories in Facebook groups or WhatsApp chats, swapping tips and reminding each other: “We can’t solve everyone’s problems back home. We need to take care of ourselves too.”
Having others who understand your situation can make it easier to stand firm on your boundaries.
9. Plan for the future together
Instead of treating remittances as endless cash flows, involve your family in planning for bigger goals. Maybe it’s buying land back home, investing in education, or setting up a small family business.
This approach turns the conversation from constant requests to building something sustainable. It also shows your family that you’re still committed to helping – just in smarter, future-focused ways.
Final thoughts
Resisting remittance pressure isn’t about abandoning your family. It’s about setting healthy boundaries so you can help them – and yourself – in ways that make sense and last long-term.
Remember: you’re not a walking ATM. You’re someone working hard abroad, building a better future for yourself and your loved ones. By managing expectations and being honest, you can protect your financial well-being and still support your family in meaningful ways.