If you’re a Filipino migrant worker or balikbayan returning home for a short visit, you already know the emotional rollercoaster that comes with it. You’re excited to see family. Eat the food you miss. Or revisit familiar places. But let’s be honest, it can also feel like a whirlwind of expectations, endless gatherings that comes with financial demands and emotional fatigue.
This article is for both you the balikbayan and also for your family and friends in the Philippines, so they can better understand what OFWs and balikbayans go through during a homecoming. Here’s how to make the most of your limited time back, without burning out or feeling pressured to be everything to everyone.
Focus on quality time, not quantity
Trying to fit in every single reunion, gathering, and favour request during a short vacation can leave you exhausted instead of refreshed. Depending on how long are you staying in the Philippines, there’s only so much you can do
Prioritise meaningful connections
Focus on the people who truly matter in your life. A quiet breakfast with your parents, an afternoon with your children, or an evening with your closest friends can be more valuable than hopping from one large event to another just to show face. Choose quality over quantity.
Communicate your boundaries early
Let relatives and friends know your plans and limitations ahead of time. Say something like, “I’ll only be home for 10 days, and I really want to spend time with my immediate family.” Setting expectations early helps avoid hurt feelings and last-minute stress.
“Balikbayans often get overwhelmed not just by schedules, but by the emotional expectation to give back or show success,” says sociologist Mary Racelis in an interview with ABS-CBN News.
Set a realistic budget—and stick to it
You don’t need to prove your success by emptying your wallet the moment you land.
Prepare a ‘balikbayan budget’ ahead of time
Know your limits. Set a fixed amount for pasalubong, outings, and family support. This helps prevent overspending and allows you to enjoy your vacation without silently stressing about bills piling up when you return abroad.
Avoid lifestyle inflation
Just because you’re earning in a foreign currency doesn’t mean you have to dine in expensive restaurants or cover everyone’s expenses. It’s okay to be practical. Eat at carinderias, ride a jeep, and say “no” when you have to. Real friends and family will understand.
Discuss finances with your partner or trusted family
If you’re contributing to household expenses or helping out financially, talk openly with those involved. This prevents misunderstandings and helps keep expectations reasonable and manageable.
According to Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas, OFW remittances in 2023 reached a record high of $36.1 billion. But that doesn’t mean all of it should be spent during one trip.
Reconnect with your roots—but take your time
Visiting home is a chance to reconnect with the culture, language, and traditions you may have missed—but don’t rush the process.
Relearn local customs with openness
Things may have changed since you left. New slang, TikTok trends, or social behaviours may seem strange. Be open and curious. Embrace the experience without judgment.
Visit your hometown or lola’s place
If possible, spend time in places that shaped your early life. Visiting your old barangay, childhood haunts, or ancestral home can be healing and grounding, helping you feel more connected to your identity.
Do things you missed
Eat fishballs on the street, attend a local fiesta, go to the palengke. These small joys are often the most memorable parts of a trip and can make you feel truly back home.
Practice self-care and take breathers
Just because you’re on “vacation” doesn’t mean your mind and body automatically relax. You need to protect your energy, too.
Schedule alone time
Even just an hour a day to read a book, take a walk, or sit quietly with your coffee can help you feel grounded. Silence and space are essential for processing the emotions that often come with being back.
Limit social media use
Avoid the pressure of posting every outing or meal. You’re not here to entertain your followers—you’re here to rest, reconnect, and recharge. Being offline can also reduce the pressure to respond to constant “pa-meet tayo” messages.
Rest without guilt
You don’t have to attend every gathering or run every errand. Your body and soul deserve rest. Taking naps, saying no, or just spending a whole day at home are not wasted opportunities—they’re vital forms of healing.
Prepare for reverse culture shock
You may feel out of place in your own country, especially if you’ve lived abroad for a long time. That’s okay.
Expect small annoyances
Things like luggage inconvenience, traffic, slow service, or poor internet might irritate you more than they used to. That’s normal. Accept that not everything works as efficiently as abroad and try to keep your cool.
Don’t compare everything
Constantly saying, “Sa abroad kasi…” can sound dismissive or arrogant, even if you don’t mean it that way. Try to enjoy the differences instead of judging them. You’re here to reconnect, not to correct.
Share, don’t lecture
Talk about your life overseas in a way that opens dialogue. Instead of preaching, share funny or surprising stories that invite curiosity rather than cause tension.
Leave space for the unexpected
No matter how well you plan, things won’t always go the way you imagined.
Let go of perfection
Not every moment has to be magical or Instagram-worthy. Some days will feel mundane, and that’s perfectly okay. You’re not obligated to fill every second with activity.
Stay flexible
A friend may cancel last minute. A road trip may get rained out. That’s life. Sometimes, the best memories come from unplanned moments—like a spontaneous karaoke session or a heart-to-heart chat on the porch.
A message to families in the Philippines
To our kababayans welcoming balikbayans home: your love and understanding mean the world.
Lower the pressure
Please don’t expect a balikbayan box to solve every family problem or a single trip home to make up for years away. Be grateful for what they can give, but don’t demand what they can’t.
Be emotionally available
Sometimes, your OFW loved one just wants to talk—not about money, but about what they’ve been through. Listen. Ask them how they are. Support can be emotional, not just financial.
Appreciate their effort
A homecoming takes months of saving, requesting leave, and long-haul flights. Even showing up, jetlagged and tired, is an act of love. Thank them for making the effort to be with you.
Final thoughts
You don’t need to come home as the hero, the ATM, or the problem-solver. Come home as yourself, tired maybe, changed a little, but still the same person who loves their country and family deeply.
Let your visit be a time of peace, not pressure. Rest when you need it, reconnect with who you’ve become, and leave with your heart full—not drained. After all, you’re not just bringing gifts—you’re bringing yourself. And that’s more than enough.