It’s a familiar story you or someone you know can relate: a cousin in the United States, a friend in Saudi, or a sibling in the UK who’s been abroad for 10, 20, even 30 years.
You ask them when are they coming back for good, and they say, “maybe next year,” or just change the subject. For many Filipinos in the Philippines, it can be confusing. Why would anyone want to stay so far from home for so long?
The truth is, coming home after years of living or working abroad is not as simple as booking a plane ticket. It’s a deeply emotional and practical decision filled with worries, attachments, and sometimes fears. Here are some reasons why many Filipinos abroad hesitate to go back home—and why understanding their side matters.
They’ve built a life abroad that feels more stable
For many OFWs and Filipino migrants, the life they’ve built overseas isn’t just about money—it’s about structure, routine, and a sense of order. After years of adapting to a new system, the idea of returning to the Philippines—where bureaucracy can be messy and systems less reliable—can feel like going backwards.
- Job security and benefits – Many overseas workers enjoy healthcare, pension plans, and workplace protections not easily found in the Philippines.
- Efficient public services – Basic services like transportation, waste disposal, or internet access may run more smoothly abroad.
- Peace of mind – Living in countries with lower crime rates or more political stability can make them hesitant to trade that for unpredictability back home.
They’re supporting entire families—and can’t afford to stop working
It’s not just their own bills they’re paying. Many OFWs send money home monthly to support parents, siblings, or even extended relatives. Retirement or relocation could threaten that income flow.
- Remittances as responsibility – In 2023, OFW remittances hit USD $38.3 billion, highlighting how essential these are to many Filipino households.
- Fear of becoming a burden – Some OFWs fear that if they return and have no income, they might end up needing help from the very people they used to support.
They fear the lack of job opportunities back home
Age discrimination, limited job availability, or low wages in the Philippines are real concerns for returning Filipinos. After years of earning better salaries abroad, the thought of starting over—or accepting a job that pays a fraction—can be disheartening.
- Wages can’t match abroad – A nurse earning AUD $60/hour in Australia may only find jobs in the Philippines paying P15,000–25,000/month.
- Skills mismatch – Returning OFWs often find that their experience isn’t fully recognised or valued in local industries.
They’ve gotten used to a different lifestyle and culture
Culture shock doesn’t only happen when leaving the Philippines—it also happens when returning. After spending years abroad, many Filipinos start to feel “in between” cultures. They may struggle to fit in back home or feel judged for being “too Western.”
- Changes in mindset – Values like time discipline, independence, or personal space may clash with what’s expected back home. One might be used to spending alone time in a park to maintain mental health, and that could be compromised if they return to the Philippines and no similar facility is available.
- Detached from local community – They may no longer relate to neighbourhood gossip, local politics, or even family issues. Life abroad may be more focused on work/home or weekend gathering with friends or occasional trips. The difference might be stark compared to the lifestyle in the Philippines.
They worry about being misunderstood or pressured
Some returning OFWs feel the pressure to appear successful. The expectations can be overwhelming—especially when people think they’re rich just because they’ve been abroad.
- High expectations from others – People often assume they’re coming back with a house, car, or big savings. There might be people in the neighborhood who look down on them as failure if their “balikbayan friend” fails to lend them money or hand over a pasalubong.
- Fear of gossip or judgement – If they come home without material success, they might feel embarrassed or talked about.
They’re staying for their children’s future
Many OFWs don’t stay abroad for themselves; they stay for their kids. Migrating has opened up better education, healthcare, and career options for their children. Moving back might disrupt those gains.
- Children are settled abroad – Some kids no longer speak Filipino, are in local schools, and consider their host country “home.”
- Fear of disruption – Returning to the Philippines might mean starting over in a less stable education system or economy.
Returning home feels permanent—and scary
After decades abroad, the idea of returning for good feels final. What if it doesn’t work out? What if they get sick or run out of money? These questions haunt many returning Filipinos.
- Retirement anxiety – Many OFWs worry about healthcare access, housing, or simply growing old without enough financial support.
- Loss of identity – They may no longer feel fully Filipino or fully foreign, caught between two worlds.
How can we better understand and support them?
For those of us in the Philippines, it helps to see things from their perspective. Living abroad isn’t always easy—and neither is coming home. We can offer understanding instead of pressure, patience instead of expectations.
Here’s how we can do that:
- Avoid assuming they have acquired vast amounts of wealth – Many OFWs are in debt or barely saving after sending money home for years.
- Let them talk honestly – Create space for them to share their concerns without making prior judgment due to stereotypes.
- Don’t guilt-trip them – Saying “You’ve changed” or “You forgot your roots” can be hurtful, even if well-intended.
- Offer practical help – If they do want to return, help them with housing, job hunting, or adjusting back to life here.
Final thoughts
Coming home sounds beautiful, but for many Filipinos abroad, it’s also complicated. It’s not about loving the Philippines less; it’s about protecting the life they’ve worked so hard to build. So the next time your friend, relative, or partner abroad says “Not yet,” take a deep breath, and remember: they’re not staying away to abandon us—they’re just trying to do what’s best, for themselves and in many cases, for us too.
Understanding their hesitation is the first step in making them feel welcome again—whenever that time comes.