As Filipinos embark on a new life as migrant workers abroad, there is little doubt that they set well-defined priorities: the education of children, build a new house or save up for married life.
While many try to fulfill these dreams, others have altered plans as they discover new opportunities abroad. Staying in Canada with the family seems better than toiling alone far from loved ones.
Marrying a local man could open up career opportunities and better welfare benefits. Entering into a relationship with a wealthy citizen could bring financial windfall and uplift one from the pangs of poverty. With priorities altered, Filipinos abroad may no longer be in sync with promises pledged to families as they waved goodbye at the airport.
Some Filipinos have unwittingly or deliberately destroyed the fabric that binds the family, earning jeers from fellowmen as they fall in love abroad while maintaining families or relationships in the Philippines. Work has been disrupted. Regular communication with families back home stopped. Others have inevitably run against the law like getting pregnant out of wedlock, ending up deported with dreams shattered.
However, there are those whose focus is steadfast and allow no distractions to reshape their objectives of going abroad. One of them is Jean Castro, a household service worker in Singapore for the past nine years. According to AsiaOne interview, Jean “doesn’t need such problems to disrupt her work life in Singapore.”
“It is better to have peace of mind. I will avoid such things at all cost,” the 39-year-old single mother-of-two says as she dismisses the idea of finding a man in Singapore.
When her employer opened up the conversation about Marriage Restriction Policy, Jean wondered why anyone would even entertain the idea even if local laws on migrant workers entering into a relationship are relaxed.
“What is the point of expecting and hoping that everything will work out like a fairy tale when the law says you shouldn’t?” she asks.
Not that nobody has expressed that wish to be more than just friends to her.
When male friends bring up the idea, Jean just “get straight to the point and tell them that I don’t want to be in a relationship” as she is determined to provide her family a better life and use her saved money to invest in building a boarding house for university students at her hometown in Iloilo City.
“I never came here to have a relationship. I came here just to work and help provide for my family in the Philippines.”
Shifting priorities and unexpected opportunities
Filipinos who leave their homeland for better job prospects often have a clear vision of their future—work hard, send money home, and eventually return to a more secure life in the Philippines. However, the realities of life abroad often present new opportunities and challenges that reshape these initial priorities.
Many Filipinos initially plan to work overseas for a limited time, aiming to save enough money before returning home. However, some find that their host country offers better long-term opportunities not just for themselves but also for their family.
This is especially true for those who are able to bring their spouse and children abroad through sponsorship programs or skilled migration pathways. The lack of economic opportunities in the Philippines does not encourage many Filipinos to return.
Choosing to stay permanently with family instead of returning home
Many Filipinos initially plan to work overseas for a limited time, aiming to save enough money before returning home. However, some find that their host country offers better long-term opportunities not just for themselves but also for their family.
This is especially true for those who are able to bring their spouse and children abroad through sponsorship programs or skilled migration pathways in countries like Canada, New Zealand and Australia.
- Higher salaries and better work conditions make returning home less attractive.
- Many decide to stay for their children’s future, as some countries offer free or subsidised education and healthcare.
- As time passes, the possibility of becoming a permanent resident or citizen becomes more appealing, offering security and stability that the Philippines might not provide.
Marrying a foreigner for stability and career advancement
Romantic relationships formed abroad can significantly impact an OFW’s future. Some Filipinos find love with locals and, in many cases, marriage to a foreigner brings not just companionship but also practical benefits.
- Marrying a local citizen can provide residency or citizenship status, easing work restrictions and access to government benefits.
- A local spouse may help their Filipino partner find better job prospects, networking opportunities, or even start a business.
- Marriage can help Filipinos adapt to a new culture more easily, expanding their horizon to different lifestyles.
However, these relationships also come with challenges. Cultural differences, family expectations, and societal judgment (especially from fellow Filipinos) can create tension, making it essential for couples to navigate their relationship with open communication and mutual respect.
Pursuing relationships that lead to financial or lifestyle upgrades
For some, relationships abroad aren’t necessarily built on love but rather on financial security or convenience. Some Filipinos enter into relationships with wealthier individuals, seeing them as a way to improve their standard of living.
- A partner with financial stability can provide a more comfortable lifestyle, including housing, travel, and luxury that would be difficult to achieve on their own.
- Some enter relationships for visa sponsorship, gaining the right to stay and work legally.
- Being with someone of a higher social or economic class can open doors to better opportunities, both professionally and personally.
While some of these relationships develop into genuine partnerships, others may lead to conflicts, power imbalances, or emotional distress when expectations from both parties do not align.
The shift in priorities among Filipinos working abroad is often a result of real-life experiences that challenge their initial plans. Although some changes lead to stability and success, others bring complications and difficult choices. Understanding these shifts can help understand how OFWs navigate their journey abroad, weighing personal fulfillment and responsibility to those they left behind.